'This ancient geriatric mom has no time for their jealousy': Family Shames Mother for Delaying Parenthood Until Her 30s, Then Criticizes Her Financial Security With 3 Kids

Advertisement
  • 01
    Posted by u/Open-Oil-8286 1 day ago AITA for telling my family that this ancient geriatric mom has no time for their jealousy?
  • 02
    Until me, anyone in my family who had kids did so by the time they were 27. Generally 21 was when my family members started having children. My parents were 19 when they started
  • 03
    having kids, their parents were about the same age as well and my siblings all had kids before 25. They also finish having children in their 20s and they are very conscious of that.
  • 04
    I (39f) was the exception. I wasn't married or having kids in my 20s. This was something my family all highly judged me for because they knew I did want to have children. They
  • 05
    all told me I was going to be so ancient when I had them and they made a big deal about me being too old for having children and not being fair to the kids because I'll be old while they'll still be young and
  • 06
    how much better it is to be active and capable of running around after them and to be the active grandma when they have kids, etc. It was really toxic and my husband who was only a boyfriend at the time
  • 07
    was stunned by the attitudes of my family. I had told him how they were but it really takes hearing the for it to sink in. they spew I didn't feel ready in my 20s
  • 08
    despite my family's norm. We never had a lot and financially it was a struggle. I see/saw my siblings struggling and aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. That's what was normal and part of that was they were all so
  • 09
    young and having these bigger families (5-7 kids average) and I personally think waiting would have helped that some. But do I judge them? No. I just wanted something different.
  • 10
    I'm glad I waited. I had my three children at 33, 35 and 36 years old and we are in a good place to raise them. I went low contact with my family for several years because the comments
  • 11
    were no longer okay with me and they couldn't respect my decision to wait. The number of ancient and geriatric comments I got were crazy and I was 29 when I went low contact.
  • 12
    Recently my siblings, and my parents to a lesser degree, have been accusing me of rubbing their noses in vacations I take with my husband and kids and the gifts we buy. One of my sisters said her
  • 13
    kids were mad that my oldest had their birthday party at the trampoline park and they never get to She told me I was really making all my niblings feel bad about it. My mom told go.
  • 14
    me I act so much better than them by taking my kids on vacations "at such a young age" instead of having them wait until adulthood like we all had to. The messages annoyed me until I decided to make
  • 15
    a group chat and I wrote to them that this ancient geriatric mom has no time for their jealousy and that I was not going to apologize for the decisions I made to wait or to enjoy being able
  • 16
    to treat my kids. I told them if they could not stop low contact would become no contact. They accused me of taunting them and lashing out unnecessarily. AITA?
  • 17
    • Canadian_01 1 day ago. Certified Proctologist [29] NTA - they are judgemental as and jealous too. They made their choices, you made yours.
  • 18
    And there is a difference between you 'actively' rubbing someone's nose in something, like 'we're going to a trampoline park for X's birthday' 'did I tell you about the trampoline park?' 'here's pictures of all of us at the trampoline park' 'have you ever been to a trampoline park'? THAT's rubbing their noses in it.
  • 19
    Simply having a party there and inviting them, is NOT rubbing noses. Now, their noses may be out of joint, but that's not your fault. You're good to go LC. They sound incredibly toxic and jealous and you don't need that bad energy.
  • 20
    • Open-Oil-8286 OP 1 day ago It's also a choice they make to keep looking at photos of stuff we do that I post online. That's how they know about most of this stuff. I don't tell them every single thing we do, and part of the reason is I know they can't do that stuff and we didn't get to do this stuff as kids.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article